So You’re Going to Hell: An Olympian’s Guide to the Afterlife (Part 1)

(Originally Posted 4/18/2014)

There has been a bit of a misunderstanding where the afterlife is concerned, and unfortunately, all modern faiths fall prey to it in some way or another. Continue reading


Why I’ve Started a Church, Part 2: Now With Orgies!

(Originally Posted 11/30/2013)

Those of you who read the first part of this sermon have probably noticed that I haven’t been writing the word “god” with the generally accepted uppercase G.  Does that mean that I’m about to deny God’s existence?  Do I really mean to tell you that your chosen belief system is a sham, no matter how benign?  Would I imply that you should start learning shit and thinking for yourself instead of blindly accepting the bullshit being hand-fed to you?

Well… sort of, kind of, and seeing as I’ve just started a church of my own, that would definitely not be in my best interest. Continue reading

Why I’ve Started a Church, Part 1

(Originally posted 11/26/2013)

There are those who say that history repeats itself, and others who claim that it merely rhymes; there is a truth there whose understanding is of vital importance.  Now I’m not entirely clear on what that’s supposed to mean, but people tell me that a good sermon will have a profound theme, and that sounded mighty profound to me.  Please keep it in mind while I tell you why I’m founding the most awesome church ever, and doubly so when I tell you *why* it’s awesome.  How awesome, you say?  Damn right, it’s awesome!  Awesome?  Cool.  So anyway, this is why I’m starting my own religion. Continue reading